“Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.” — Simon Sinek
When coaching my client John, I remarked, “It’s going to be lonely for you, leading among leaders who at times will not be as invested as you are in growing their leadership effectiveness.” This was in response to his frustration with colleagues who had sidestepped their commitment to the organization’s core values and guiding principles.
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Their reluctance to engage in courageous conversations, both with peers and subordinates, was hindering the team's potential for growth, morale, and sustainable leadership.
The Challenge of Silent Leaders
John’s colleagues frequently avoided confronting the hard truths:
In meetings, they refrained from voicing concerns to the CEO and executives, only to air their grievances afterward.
Performance reviews lacked substance, as they sought to avoid discomfort.
Leadership decisions were often diluted by accommodating disruptive, self-centered behaviors from team members.
Chain-of-command principles were ignored as private meetings circumvented established structures.
These behaviors reflect a broader leadership dilemma: the tension between the comfort of inaction and the responsibility of constructive confrontation. Silence, as Stephen Covey notes in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is not neutrality but a failure to advocate for principles that drive trust and alignment.
The Case for Courageous Conversations
The book Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Grenny, et al., reminds us of the importance of addressing high-stakes situations with candor and respect. Avoiding such conversations perpetuates dysfunction, while embracing them builds stronger teams. Courageous leaders:
Name the Problem: Confront undesirable attitudes with clarity, addressing the "what" and the "why."
Create Psychological Safety: Build trust to ensure open, honest exchanges without fear of retribution.
Use Feedback as Development: Turn critiques into opportunities for individual and collective growth.
When leaders adopt these practices, they elevate not only their team’s effectiveness but also their own credibility.
A Leader's Insight
A mentor's reflections resonate here. Bill McClain often repeated, "Leadership requires meeting people where they are, understanding their needs, and fostering inclusion." Tailoring your leadership approach to individual dynamics is essential, but it requires a balance of empathy and firm accountability.
The Psychological Perspective
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), effective leadership hinges on emotional intelligence:
Recognizing and regulating emotions.
Empathizing with others’ perspectives.
Using communication to resolve conflicts constructively.
Practical Steps for Effective Leadership
Model Vulnerability: Leaders who are open about their challenges invite reciprocity and engagement.
Redefine Feedback: Frame constructive criticism as a shared journey toward excellence, aligning team members with organizational values.
Foster a Culture of Accountability: Establish norms where candid conversations are expected and respected.
Engage in Reflective Practice: Regularly assess personal leadership effectiveness, as described in tools like Irresistible Communication and Good to Great.
A Call to Action
Leadership, as John Maxwell reminds us, is a journey. For John and others like him, navigating the loneliness of principled leadership demands resilience, strategic communication, and an unwavering commitment to the greater good. As leaders, we must embrace our roles as catalysts for meaningful dialogue, shaping a culture where courage, not comfort, defines success.
In the words of Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Leading with courage leaves a legacy of outcomes, but also of a more durable type, transformative influence.
Renwick Brutus' career has spanned roles as research economist, investment advisor, entrepreneur, author and consultant. He holds an MBA from Fordham University and has been recognized for his outstanding achievement in sales and business leadership. Today, Renwick applies his unique blend of business strategy and interpersonal skills to help individuals prosper and companies grow. He owns multiple companies and is in great demand to consult with business leaders. Contact him by email and LinkedIn.
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